一篇散散的散文

创作的欲望似乎近来越来越暗淡。是因为感觉不到情绪的高潮？还是情绪的波动弧度太大，大得我已忘却了文字的发泄？静静将自己和自己的感受埋在夜晚桌灯的微光中。那是黄昏的颜色。但在漆黑一片的陋室里，那黄昏的颜色却显得太过刺眼。

喜欢，还是习惯了，将日趋瘦干的身躯缩在衣柜的镜子前。望着镜子里那张已经熟悉到陌生的面孔，不再知道脑子里在冲过什么思绪。练习对自己微笑，练习美丽地哭泣……练习与自己前面的自己共同分享心里的一切。

妈妈和爸爸陆续回国探望病重的外公。家里的空气如今只属于我和哥哥。不知是庆幸还是不幸，他们无法见证我的情绪。他们也无暇为我担心，所以干脆告诉自己，长大了，应该学会处理情绪了。一向来自以为EQ 不错的我，对“不错”的定义似乎误解了。我只会在别人面前隐藏我的情绪，留下的也只是我的笑声。这样好吗？

---哈哈，为何如此伤感？这算是EMO吗? 管他啦！反正突然想写些东西，就顺从己意吧。上学期刚教了他们散文，所以也想随便写些。有些内容看来有些夸张。别担心，只是为了写而写，所以就当作一篇作品来欣赏吧。近来的日子过的还蛮充实的。真的有些回到J1的感觉。好希望时间可以停留，让这单纯美好的一切继续下去。因为周围认识的人都太好了，好的我有点痴醉了。若这是一场梦，我希望这梦不会醒。

stop and stare

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move,
I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years

Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh

Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh

Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need
What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

-- i love this song!! :P