haha decided to create a new blog cos heard that in china we wun be able to use blogspot. so i guess the only way out is to create another blog. so now my new blog add is www.smellybean.wordpress.com.cn.
hmm so i will nt be using this blog anymore :/
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
so much...
It is indeed a blessing to be living in a tropical country where there's no need to worry about changing seasons. At least we don't need to make preparations for decreasing/increasing temperatures. But i guess it just lacks some sense of romance? or is romance the right word to describe that innate desire i have? It's been ten years since i came here. I've pretty gotten used to everything here, be it the people, the places, the food... Sometimes others, and myself even, would think that i'm more like a singaporean than a chinese. Haha i guess it's because i don't carry with me a special accent? and i always explain to others because i came from fujian and many singaporeans actually belong to hokkien dialect group, maybe that's why i simply blend in so well. but who really cares man? haha.
yes i like who and where i am. and i believe this will be the place where i will spend most parts of my life in. but there's just something inside that tells me to go out, out of this familiar place, and into a new environment, somewhere different, somewhere with four seasons (:p). isn't it exciting to experience four different seasons? to see different sceneries in one year? to meet different people? to study under a different education system? all these seem too attractive. and yes i'm going to fulfill my dream of doing the course i like and eventually come back to do the job i like 4 years or maybe 5 years later. it's all but a dream to me a few months back. now it's so real that i thought i'm still dreaming. silly sia. maybe i'm just being the slow self who's always slow when it comes to strong emotions, like overwhelming sadness that will eventually sweep over me when i leave this country. i know i will be sad, i know tears are bound to come, i know everything will eventually turn out to be not as nice and happy as they seem to me right now. but i'm not going to let such emotions come in so soon, hehe not until at least 2 months later, hopefully.
i have been doing some serious stuff, by that i mean stuff that will bring in income. haha and of course not neglecting all the scholarship stuff that's coming in. on some days, i just don't feel like doing anything. i just want to read books or just sit on sofa and not doing anything. i don't think i will get to enjoy this kind of lifestyle ever again, maybe only when i'm super old.
woa this is a long entry sia. just suddenly feel like writing so here's all my crap. :P i hope i can keep up this habit of regular blogging when i'm overseas, at least that's what i promised xin. (though i'm not entirely confident of doing that. but i'll try. :D)
p.s i love haruki murakami!! he writes so well! i'm so going to buy all his books when i have more money! :DDD
yes i like who and where i am. and i believe this will be the place where i will spend most parts of my life in. but there's just something inside that tells me to go out, out of this familiar place, and into a new environment, somewhere different, somewhere with four seasons (:p). isn't it exciting to experience four different seasons? to see different sceneries in one year? to meet different people? to study under a different education system? all these seem too attractive. and yes i'm going to fulfill my dream of doing the course i like and eventually come back to do the job i like 4 years or maybe 5 years later. it's all but a dream to me a few months back. now it's so real that i thought i'm still dreaming. silly sia. maybe i'm just being the slow self who's always slow when it comes to strong emotions, like overwhelming sadness that will eventually sweep over me when i leave this country. i know i will be sad, i know tears are bound to come, i know everything will eventually turn out to be not as nice and happy as they seem to me right now. but i'm not going to let such emotions come in so soon, hehe not until at least 2 months later, hopefully.
i have been doing some serious stuff, by that i mean stuff that will bring in income. haha and of course not neglecting all the scholarship stuff that's coming in. on some days, i just don't feel like doing anything. i just want to read books or just sit on sofa and not doing anything. i don't think i will get to enjoy this kind of lifestyle ever again, maybe only when i'm super old.
woa this is a long entry sia. just suddenly feel like writing so here's all my crap. :P i hope i can keep up this habit of regular blogging when i'm overseas, at least that's what i promised xin. (though i'm not entirely confident of doing that. but i'll try. :D)
p.s i love haruki murakami!! he writes so well! i'm so going to buy all his books when i have more money! :DDD
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
我又乱写一通了
总觉得必须写些东西了，但也总是碍于人的惰性而迟迟没有静下心来写。其实，现在若真要写，我倒也写不出任何有主题的东西来。那就讲讲近来的状况吧。教育部真是热心的不行。活动可是接二连三地冲着我来。单单跑教育部都跑了好几趟。除了这些琐碎的事情外，就剩下翻译工作了。今天好有成就感，因为赶完了多一个单元。有些近乎虚脱的感觉。但也算是一种另类的快感吧。
昨天回了一趟华中。在熟悉的小角落，一边享受着凉凉的微风，一边畅谈我们过去，现在与将来的人生。感觉几爽！但却始终摆脱不了内心深处淡淡的伤感。因为未来虽摊在眼前，却似乎非常遥远。而且想象各自不同的生活，在两个月后就要正式开始，我想我是有恐惧的，但同时我又想暂时埋葬这份恐惧。请原谅我在这个时刻懦弱地选择了逃避。
尝试在脑子里装满无限的期待与兴奋，至少现在我要这样做。
昨天回了一趟华中。在熟悉的小角落，一边享受着凉凉的微风，一边畅谈我们过去，现在与将来的人生。感觉几爽！但却始终摆脱不了内心深处淡淡的伤感。因为未来虽摊在眼前，却似乎非常遥远。而且想象各自不同的生活，在两个月后就要正式开始，我想我是有恐惧的，但同时我又想暂时埋葬这份恐惧。请原谅我在这个时刻懦弱地选择了逃避。
尝试在脑子里装满无限的期待与兴奋，至少现在我要这样做。
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Thanks
It's been a 5 months' test of both determination and patience.
And now finally the answer's revealed.
I truly thank God for the countless blessings i have in my short life so far. All i have in mind is just thanks to Him.
The journey ahead is now full of excitement as well as challenges. but i believe He will hold my hands and walk with me for the rest of my life.
And now finally the answer's revealed.
I truly thank God for the countless blessings i have in my short life so far. All i have in mind is just thanks to Him.
The journey ahead is now full of excitement as well as challenges. but i believe He will hold my hands and walk with me for the rest of my life.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
一篇散散的散文
创作的欲望似乎近来越来越暗淡。是因为感觉不到情绪的高潮？还是情绪的波动弧度太大，大得我已忘却了文字的发泄？静静将自己和自己的感受埋在夜晚桌灯的微光中。那是黄昏的颜色。但在漆黑一片的陋室里，那黄昏的颜色却显得太过刺眼。
喜欢，还是习惯了，将日趋瘦干的身躯缩在衣柜的镜子前。望着镜子里那张已经熟悉到陌生的面孔，不再知道脑子里在冲过什么思绪。练习对自己微笑，练习美丽地哭泣……练习与自己前面的自己共同分享心里的一切。
妈妈和爸爸陆续回国探望病重的外公。家里的空气如今只属于我和哥哥。不知是庆幸还是不幸，他们无法见证我的情绪。他们也无暇为我担心，所以干脆告诉自己，长大了，应该学会处理情绪了。一向来自以为EQ 不错的我，对“不错”的定义似乎误解了。我只会在别人面前隐藏我的情绪，留下的也只是我的笑声。这样好吗？
---哈哈，为何如此伤感？这算是EMO吗? 管他啦！反正突然想写些东西，就顺从己意吧。上学期刚教了他们散文，所以也想随便写些。有些内容看来有些夸张。别担心，只是为了写而写，所以就当作一篇作品来欣赏吧。近来的日子过的还蛮充实的。真的有些回到J1的感觉。好希望时间可以停留，让这单纯美好的一切继续下去。因为周围认识的人都太好了，好的我有点痴醉了。若这是一场梦，我希望这梦不会醒。
喜欢，还是习惯了，将日趋瘦干的身躯缩在衣柜的镜子前。望着镜子里那张已经熟悉到陌生的面孔，不再知道脑子里在冲过什么思绪。练习对自己微笑，练习美丽地哭泣……练习与自己前面的自己共同分享心里的一切。
妈妈和爸爸陆续回国探望病重的外公。家里的空气如今只属于我和哥哥。不知是庆幸还是不幸，他们无法见证我的情绪。他们也无暇为我担心，所以干脆告诉自己，长大了，应该学会处理情绪了。一向来自以为EQ 不错的我，对“不错”的定义似乎误解了。我只会在别人面前隐藏我的情绪，留下的也只是我的笑声。这样好吗？
---哈哈，为何如此伤感？这算是EMO吗? 管他啦！反正突然想写些东西，就顺从己意吧。上学期刚教了他们散文，所以也想随便写些。有些内容看来有些夸张。别担心，只是为了写而写，所以就当作一篇作品来欣赏吧。近来的日子过的还蛮充实的。真的有些回到J1的感觉。好希望时间可以停留，让这单纯美好的一切继续下去。因为周围认识的人都太好了，好的我有点痴醉了。若这是一场梦，我希望这梦不会醒。
stop and stare
This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move,
I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see
They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need
What u need, what u need...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...
-- i love this song!! :P
It's time to make our move,
I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see
They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need
What u need, what u need...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...
-- i love this song!! :P
Friday, February 29, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
7 weeks...
woa...it's been 7 weeks since i started rt. i think so far it's really fun! i've really learnt how to on the spot tackle wierd qns from the students. but sometimes, i thk my lessons r a bit sian. so i shld try to be enthu for every lesson, then the students will be enthu as well.
still trying to think of fun stuff or class activities for them to do... but i will haf very random ideas while doing random stuff. haaha luckily...
hopefully i will be a better tchr in the next 11 weeks...
still trying to think of fun stuff or class activities for them to do... but i will haf very random ideas while doing random stuff. haaha luckily...
hopefully i will be a better tchr in the next 11 weeks...
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Monday, January 7, 2008
DHS
haha it's really quite shuang to hear students calling me laoshi! had my first lesson today. basically all i did was crap and play lame games. it was fun though. woa or did i waste 1.5 hours? hehe but isn't it a bit sad to start formal lesson on first day?
the class was quite enthu and responsive! woohoo! after that lesson, my friend told me that class is a GEP class. hmm but they dun give me the gepper feel. maybe is becos their chinese quite gd. :P anw, this is a great start to my relief teaching! i quite like the class but sadly i only relief them for one lesson. hopefully my classes will be as fun as them.
yay looking forward to my next lesson~!
the class was quite enthu and responsive! woohoo! after that lesson, my friend told me that class is a GEP class. hmm but they dun give me the gepper feel. maybe is becos their chinese quite gd. :P anw, this is a great start to my relief teaching! i quite like the class but sadly i only relief them for one lesson. hopefully my classes will be as fun as them.
yay looking forward to my next lesson~!
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
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